The memorandum of understanding
Key facts
- A memorandum of understanding (MOU) is the confidential, without-prejudice document your mediator writes up to record the proposals you have reached in mediation.
- The MOU is not legally binding on its own. It sets out what you have agreed in principle, not a court order.
- It is different from the open financial statement, which is the one document from mediation that can be shown to a court.
- A financial MOU becomes legally binding when a solicitor turns it into a consent order and a judge approves it.
- You keep control throughout: the mediator records what the two of you decide, nothing is imposed.
When you reach agreement in family mediation, your mediator writes it down. The main document they produce is the memorandum of understanding, usually shortened to MOU. It is the written summary of everything you and your ex-partner have proposed and agreed during your sessions, whether that is about children, money, the family home or all three.
This guide explains exactly what a memorandum of understanding is, what it contains, why it is written on a without-prejudice basis, how it differs from the open financial statement, and how it can be turned into something legally binding. It is the hub page for our section on mediation agreements, and it links out to every related guide as we go. This is general information, not legal advice.
What is a memorandum of understanding?
A memorandum of understanding is a written record of the proposals you have reached together in mediation. Your mediator drafts it at the end of the process, once the discussions have settled into a clear set of decisions. It is written in plain language and describes what you both intend to do, for example how you will share time with the children, how you will divide savings, or what will happen to the house.
The word memorandum simply means a note or record. The word understanding is important too. The document records a shared understanding of what you have agreed in principle. It is not a contract you sign in the mediation room, and it is not a court order. Think of it as the bridge between the conversations you have had and any formal step you may take afterwards.
Every accredited family mediator in England and Wales works to the Family Mediation Council Code of Practice, which sets out how outcomes are recorded and kept confidential. The MOU is the standard way mediators summarise a financial or all-issues agreement, so that both of you, and any solicitors you choose to involve, have a clear written starting point.
What does a memorandum of understanding contain?
The exact content depends on what you discussed, but a typical MOU is structured so that anyone reading it can follow the story of your agreement. It usually opens with a short background section and then works through each issue in turn.
| Section | What it usually covers |
|---|---|
| Background | Who you are, your family, the length of the relationship and what you came to mediation to resolve |
| Children | Where the children live, how time is shared, and how you will make decisions together |
| Property | What you propose for the family home, whether that is sale, transfer or a deferred sale |
| Capital and savings | How savings, investments and other assets will be divided |
| Pensions | Any proposals for sharing or offsetting pensions |
| Income and maintenance | Proposals on spousal maintenance or child maintenance arrangements |
| Next steps | A reminder that each of you should take your own legal advice before the agreement is formalised |
Alongside the MOU, your mediator normally prepares an open financial statement, which is a summary of the financial information you both disclosed. The two documents work as a pair: the MOU explains what you have agreed, and the open financial statement shows the financial picture it was based on. If you want to be sure you have gathered everything a mediator will ask for, our financial disclosure checklist walks through it.
Why is the MOU without prejudice?
A memorandum of understanding is written on a without-prejudice basis. This is a legal term that means the contents cannot normally be shown to a court or used as evidence against either of you. It exists to protect open, honest conversation. If everything you floated in mediation could be quoted back at you later, few people would feel able to explore options or make offers.
Because it is without prejudice, the MOU itself does not usually go before a judge. Instead, if you decide to make your financial agreement binding, the relevant terms are copied into a separate document, the consent order, and the supporting figures are taken from the open financial statement. That way the court sees what it needs to see without breaking the confidentiality that made agreement possible in the first place.
Confidential and legally privileged
The MOU is confidential and legally privileged. It records proposals, not promises the court can enforce. This is why mediators are careful to explain that nothing is binding until you have each taken advice and, where relevant, a court has approved a consent order.
Is a memorandum of understanding legally binding?
On its own, no. A memorandum of understanding is not a legally binding contract and it is not a court order. It records what you have agreed in principle and gives you both a clear, written basis to move forward. That is a deliberate feature of the process, not a weakness. Mediation keeps you in control, and the MOU reflects an agreement you reached freely rather than terms handed down to you.
For arrangements about children, many parents find that a written record is all they need, and they simply follow the plan they built together. For money and property, most people want the extra certainty of a court order. Our guide on whether mediation is legally binding explains the general position, and the section below shows how a financial MOU becomes binding.
How does an MOU become legally binding?
A financial memorandum of understanding becomes legally binding when it is turned into a consent order and approved by a judge. The process is straightforward and follows the same route for most couples.
First, you take the MOU to a solicitor. You can read more about whether you need a solicitor after mediation and what independent legal advice adds at this stage. The solicitor drafts a consent order that reflects the terms in your MOU, using legal wording the court expects. Second, a short financial statement of information, the D81 form, is completed so the judge can check the agreement is broadly fair. Third, the papers are sent to court with the fee, and a judge reviews them. If the judge is satisfied, they seal the order and it becomes binding.
Our full guide on making a mediation agreement legally binding sets out each step in order, and our page on financial mediation explains how money is worked through in the sessions that lead up to the MOU.
| Stage | What happens |
|---|---|
| Mediation | You reach agreement and the mediator writes the MOU and open financial statement |
| Legal advice | Each of you takes independent advice on the proposals |
| Drafting | A solicitor turns the MOU into a draft consent order |
| D81 | A statement of information is completed so the judge can assess fairness |
| Court approval | A judge reviews the papers and, if satisfied, seals the consent order |
MOU or open financial statement: what is the difference?
These two documents are easy to confuse because they come out of the same mediation and often arrive together. The simplest way to remember the difference is that one is private and one can be shown to the court.
| Memorandum of understanding | Open financial statement | |
|---|---|---|
| Purpose | Records what you have agreed | Records the financial information you disclosed |
| Status | Without prejudice, confidential | Open, can be shown to a court |
| Legally binding | No | No, but it can be used in evidence |
| Used for | A clear summary of proposals | Supporting a consent order application |
In short, the MOU is the story of your agreement and the open financial statement is the evidence of the numbers behind it. Neither is binding by itself, but together they give a solicitor everything needed to draft a consent order.
A memorandum of understanding is prepared under the Family Mediation Council Code of Practice, which governs how accredited mediators record and keep proposals confidential. Its without-prejudice status reflects long-standing rules of privilege that protect settlement discussions. When a financial agreement is turned into a consent order, the court applies the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, and the Family Procedure Rules set out how the application is made and what information, such as the D81 statement, must accompany it.
What if the agreement changes or breaks down?
Life moves on, and sometimes an agreement needs revisiting. Because a children MOU or parenting plan is not fixed in stone, you can adjust it together as your children grow or your circumstances change. If things become difficult, you can return to mediation to work through the new issue rather than starting from scratch.
If a financial agreement has already been sealed as a consent order, it is binding and can only be changed in limited ways. Our guide on what happens if an agreement breaks down explains the options, from returning to mediation to enforcing an existing order. It also covers the difference between a flexible plan and a court order, which we look at next.
Children: plan or order?
For arrangements about children, the MOU is usually accompanied by, or replaced with, a parenting plan. A parenting plan is a practical, flexible document, while a court order is enforceable. Which one suits you depends on how much certainty you need. Our comparison of a parenting plan versus a child arrangements order sets out the trade-offs, and links through to the full parenting plan guide if you want to build one.
Why the MOU is worth having
Even though it is not binding, the memorandum of understanding does real work. It captures your agreement while it is fresh, in your own terms, so that months later neither of you is relying on memory or a hurried note. It gives a solicitor a clear brief, which keeps the cost of formalising the agreement down. And because it was written by an impartial mediator who heard both of you, it tends to reflect a balanced summary rather than one person’s version of events.
For many separating couples, the MOU is also a milestone worth marking. It shows the hard conversations are behind you and a plan is on paper. Whether you go on to make it binding through a consent order or simply follow it day to day, having your agreement written down clearly is a solid foundation to move forward from.
Dan and Marie spent four sessions in mediation agreeing how to divide their savings, share their pensions and sell the family home. At the end, their mediator sent them a memorandum of understanding setting out everything they had agreed, along with an open financial statement summarising their finances. Marie worried the MOU alone was not enough to feel secure. Their mediator explained that the MOU was a record of their proposals, not a binding order, and that a solicitor could turn it into a consent order for the court to approve. They did exactly that, and a few weeks later a judge sealed the order. The agreement they had built themselves was now legally binding.
Frequently asked questions
Is a memorandum of understanding the same as a consent order?
No. A memorandum of understanding records the proposals you reached in mediation and is not binding. A consent order is a court order that makes a financial agreement binding once a judge approves it. A solicitor can turn an MOU into a draft consent order.
Do I have to sign the memorandum of understanding?
You are not usually asked to sign it as a binding contract. The MOU is a without-prejudice record of what you agreed in principle. It becomes binding only if the financial terms are made into a consent order that a judge seals.
Can the memorandum of understanding be used in court?
Generally no. The MOU is written on a without-prejudice basis, so its contents are confidential and cannot normally be used as evidence. The open financial statement, by contrast, is an open document that can be shown to the court.
How long does it take to get a memorandum of understanding?
Your mediator normally prepares it after your final session, once agreement is clear. Most couples receive a draft within a couple of weeks, though the timing depends on the mediator and the complexity of what you agreed.
What is the difference between an MOU and an open financial statement?
The MOU records what you agreed and is confidential. The open financial statement records the financial information you both disclosed and can be shown to a court. Together they support an application for a consent order.
Sources
- Family Mediation Council, Code of Practice, familymediationcouncil.org.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- GOV.UK, Money and property when you divorce or separate: apply for a consent order, gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- Family Procedure Rules, Part 9 (financial remedy), justice.gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.