What if the agreement breaks down?
Key facts
- If an agreement breaks down, you generally have three options: return to mediation, formalise it as a court order, or enforce an existing order.
- A parenting plan is not enforceable, so if it stops working, updating it or making a court order are the usual routes.
- A sealed consent order or child arrangements order is enforceable through the court.
- Returning to mediation is often quicker and less stressful than going to court for a change.
- Enforcement is a last resort, used when an existing court order is being ignored.
Agreements are made for the situation you are in at the time, and life does not stand still. Sometimes an arrangement that worked well starts to slip, or circumstances change so much that it no longer fits. If that happens, it does not mean you are back to square one. There are clear, calm options for putting things right, and this guide walks through them.
What you can do depends on what kind of agreement you have. A flexible parenting plan is handled differently from a sealed court order. This is general information, not legal advice. For the wider picture of how mediation agreements are recorded and made binding, see our guide to the memorandum of understanding.
First, work out what kind of agreement you have
Your options depend on whether your agreement is a flexible plan or a binding order. The two are treated very differently, so it helps to be clear which one you have before deciding what to do.
| Type of agreement | Is it enforceable? | Usual route if it breaks down |
|---|---|---|
| Parenting plan | No | Update it together, or return to mediation |
| Memorandum of understanding | No | Return to mediation, or make it into a consent order |
| Consent order (financial) | Yes | Apply to enforce, or to vary if allowed |
| Child arrangements order | Yes | Return to mediation, or apply to enforce |
If you are not sure which you have, our comparison of a parenting plan versus a child arrangements order explains the difference and how to tell them apart.
Option one: return to mediation
For most families, going back to mediation is the first and best step. If circumstances have changed, or an arrangement is causing friction, a mediator can help you both work through the new issue and update your agreement. This is often far quicker, cheaper and less stressful than going to court, and it keeps the decisions in your hands.
Returning to mediation is common and there is no stigma in it. Arrangements for children in particular are meant to be reviewed as they grow. A short set of sessions can be enough to reset things. Good communication helps too, which is why many parents also work on co-parenting communication to reduce the friction that leads to breakdowns in the first place.
Option two: formalise the agreement as an order
Sometimes an agreement breaks down because it was never made binding. If you have a memorandum of understanding or a parenting plan that one person is not sticking to, you can ask the court to turn it into an order. For finances, that means a consent order. For children, it means a child arrangements order.
Making the agreement into an order gives it the weight of the court and makes it enforceable. This route suits situations where you broadly still agree but need the certainty that an order provides. Our guide on making a mediation agreement legally binding explains the steps.
Option three: enforce an existing order
If you already have a sealed court order and the other person is not following it, you can ask the court to enforce it. This is different from changing the arrangement. Enforcement is about holding someone to an order that is already in place.
For a financial order, enforcement can involve steps to secure payment. For a child arrangements order, the court has a range of powers where an order is breached without good reason, from varying the arrangements to, in serious cases, other measures. Enforcement is a last resort, and the court will always keep the child’s welfare at the centre. GOV.UK sets out the enforcement options in detail.
Try to resolve it first where you safely can
Courts expect you to try to resolve a problem before asking them to enforce an order, unless there are safety concerns. Returning to mediation to sort out why the order is not working often solves the underlying issue more durably than enforcement alone.
How to enforce a financial order
If a lump sum or maintenance under a consent order is not being paid, you can apply to the court to enforce it. You can ask the court to decide the best method, or apply for a specific one. The main routes are:
| Method | What it does |
|---|---|
| Attachment of earnings order | Deducts the money owed directly from the other person’s wages |
| Charging order | Secures the debt against their share of a property |
| Third party debt order | Freezes and takes money held in their bank account |
| Warrant of control | Sends enforcement agents to take goods to the value of the debt |
| Judgment summons | Used where someone can pay maintenance but wilfully will not |
Interest can build up on unpaid amounts, and the court can order the other person to pay the costs of enforcement. It usually helps to keep a clear record of what is owed and what has been paid before you apply.
How to enforce a child arrangements order
If a parent breaks a child arrangements order without a reasonable excuse, the other can apply to enforce it on form C79. The court looks first at why the order is not working, and the child’s welfare stays the paramount consideration throughout. Where a breach is proved beyond reasonable doubt and there is no reasonable excuse, the court can:
- Refer the parents to a programme or to mediation to repair the arrangement
- Vary the order so it works better in practice
- Make an enforcement order requiring between 40 and 200 hours of unpaid work
- Order one parent to compensate the other for financial loss caused by the breach
- In serious cases, treat the breach as contempt of court, which can mean a fine
Enforcement is not about punishing a parent for its own sake. The court’s aim is to get the arrangement working again for the child, so a calm application that explains the pattern of breaches is usually more effective than an angry one.
Can a sealed order be changed?
Some orders can be varied and some are meant to be final. It is worth knowing which is which before you decide what to do.
- Ongoing maintenance can usually be varied up or down if circumstances change, under section 31 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.
- Capital orders, such as a lump sum or property transfer, and a clean break are generally final and cannot simply be reopened.
- A child arrangements order can be varied by applying to the court, or by agreement that the court then approves.
- In rare cases a financial order can be set aside, for example after a Barder event, a serious and unforeseen change soon after the order, or where there was fraud or non-disclosure.
Because the rules are strict, it is sensible to take legal advice before applying to vary or set aside an order. A solicitor can tell you quickly whether a change is realistic.
Choosing the right route
There is no single right answer, and the best route depends on your situation and how well you and your ex-partner can still work together. The table below is a rough guide.
| If… | A good first step is… |
|---|---|
| Circumstances have changed and the plan no longer fits | Return to mediation to update it together |
| You broadly agree but need certainty | Formalise the agreement as a consent or child arrangements order |
| A sealed order is being ignored | Consider enforcement, ideally after trying to resolve it first |
| You are unsure which option fits | Look at all the non-court routes available |
If you want to compare the different out-of-court routes, our guide to choosing the right NCDR option sets out mediation, arbitration and the alternatives side by side.
Non-court dispute resolution, including returning to mediation, is encouraged under the Family Procedure Rules, and since April 2024 the courts can take a party’s unreasonable refusal to consider it into account. Ongoing maintenance can be varied under section 31 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, while capital and clean break terms are usually final. Where a child arrangements order is breached without reasonable excuse, section 11J of the Children Act 1989 allows the court to make an enforcement order, and in every decision the child’s welfare remains the paramount consideration.
How long does it take and what does it cost?
Returning to mediation is usually the fastest route, often just one or two sessions to reset an arrangement, and there is no court fee. Formalising an agreement as an order takes a few weeks and carries the court fee for the relevant application. Enforcement is slower, because it involves a court process, and there are fees for enforcement applications, though the court can order the other person to pay them. Weighing speed, cost and stress is part of choosing the right route, and for many families the calm option and the cheap option are the same one.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Trying to enforce a parenting plan or memorandum of understanding, which are not court orders.
- Stopping contact or withholding payment in response to a breach, which can make matters worse.
- Going straight to court when a short return to mediation would resolve it faster.
- Assuming a clean break can be reopened because your finances have changed. It usually cannot.
- Leaving a broken arrangement to drift, so a small problem grows into a bigger dispute.
Two years after agreeing a parenting plan in mediation, Omar found his ex-partner was regularly changing weekend arrangements at short notice. He was tempted to apply to court straight away, but the plan was not an enforceable order, so a judge could not simply hold her to it. Instead they went back to their mediator for two sessions. It turned out the changes were driven by a new shift pattern at work. They rebuilt the routine around it and agreed a week’s notice for any swaps. The arrangement settled down again, and neither of them had to go to court.
Frequently asked questions
What happens if one of us breaks a mediation agreement?
It depends on the type of agreement. A parenting plan or memorandum of understanding is not enforceable, so the usual step is to return to mediation or make it into an order. A sealed court order can be enforced through the court.
Can I go back to mediation after an agreement breaks down?
Yes, and it is often the best first step. A mediator can help you update the arrangement to reflect what has changed. It is usually quicker and less stressful than going to court.
How do I enforce a court order that is being ignored?
You can apply to the court to enforce it. For financial orders there are methods such as attachment of earnings, charging orders and third party debt orders; for child arrangements orders you apply on form C79 and the court has a range of powers. Courts expect you to try to resolve the issue first where safe.
Can a consent order be changed?
Some parts, such as maintenance, can be varied in limited circumstances under section 31 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. Capital and clean break terms are usually final. If your situation has changed significantly, take legal advice on whether a variation is possible.
Is a parenting plan enforceable if my ex ignores it?
No, a parenting plan is not legally binding. If it is regularly ignored, you can return to mediation to update it or apply for a child arrangements order, which is enforceable.
What is a Barder event?
It is a serious and unforeseen change soon after a financial order that undermines the basis on which it was made, such as a sudden major change in circumstances. In rare cases it can allow an order to be set aside, but the test is strict and needs legal advice.
Can I stop contact if my ex breaks the order?
Stopping contact or withholding payment in response to a breach can backfire and is not usually the right step. It is better to apply to enforce or vary the order, or return to mediation, and keep the child’s welfare central.
What does it cost to go back to mediation?
There is no court fee for returning to mediation, and a short set of sessions is often enough to reset an arrangement. Session costs vary by provider, and the family mediation voucher scheme may help where children are involved.
Sources
- GOV.UK, Making child arrangements: change or enforce a court order, gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- GOV.UK, Money and property when you divorce or separate, gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- Children Act 1989, section 11J (enforcement orders), legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, section 31 (variation), legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.