What can family mediation cover?
Key facts
- Family mediation can cover child arrangements, finances, property, maintenance, pets and how you communicate.
- You choose the agenda. Mediation can tackle everything at once or focus on a single issue.
- Mediation cannot grant a divorce, decide criminal matters, or force the other person to agree.
- Agreements on children and money are written up so they can be made legally binding if you wish.
- Most separating couples find that one process can handle both their children and their finances together.
One of the most common questions people ask is simply what family mediation is for. The short answer is that it can cover almost every practical decision that comes with separating, from where the children live to how you divide the house, and a good deal in between. You decide what goes on the agenda.
This page sets out what family mediation can cover, and just as usefully what it cannot, with a clear table you can scan. For the wider picture, see our guide to family mediation.
Children and parenting
Arrangements for children are the most common reason people come to mediation. That covers where the children live, how they split their time between two homes, holidays and special days, schooling, and how you will make bigger decisions together as parents.
Mediation is a good place to build a child arrangements plan that works for both households. Where it helps, older children can have their own voice through a separately trained mediator. The aim is a routine your children can rely on, written up as a parenting plan.
Money, property and pensions
Mediation can also cover the whole financial side of separating. That includes what happens to the family home, how savings and debts are divided, pensions, and ongoing support such as maintenance. Before you can settle money fairly, both of you share full financial information, which mediators call disclosure. Our disclosure checklist sets out what you will usually need to gather.
These conversations sit within financial mediation, and they can be as detailed as your situation needs. If the family home is the main asset, our page on what to do with the family home walks through the usual choices. What you agree is written into an open financial statement, which a solicitor can turn into a consent order.
Maintenance is often part of the picture too. Child maintenance keeps money flowing for the children after separation, and mediation can help you agree a figure or a way of sharing costs that both of you can live with. Where one person earned much more than the other, spousal maintenance may also come up. Mediation is a good place to talk these through openly, because you can look at both households’ real budgets side by side rather than arguing over numbers in letters between solicitors.
What can and cannot family mediation cover?
The table below shows the practical decisions mediation can help you reach, and the things it cannot do. Mediation is powerful, but it is not a court and it is not a substitute for legal advice on your rights.
| Mediation can cover | Mediation cannot do |
|---|---|
| Where children live and spend time | Grant your divorce or dissolution |
| Holidays, handovers and schooling | Decide criminal or child protection matters |
| The family home and how it is divided | Force the other person to agree |
| Savings, debts and pensions | Give you personal legal advice |
| Maintenance and child support | Impose a decision if you cannot agree |
| Pets, belongings and communication | Make an order by itself |
If you cannot agree on something, the mediator cannot decide it for you. What they can do is record what you did agree, and give you the certificate you need to take any unresolved issue to court. Divorce itself is a separate online process, and mediation runs alongside it rather than replacing it.
The smaller things that still matter
Mediation is not only for the big issues. Pets are a frequent topic, and many couples use mediation to agree who a dog or cat lives with and how costs are shared. So are personal belongings, and the everyday question of how you will communicate as separated parents without every message turning into a dispute.
Setting ground rules for co-parenting communication can be one of the most valuable outcomes, because it prevents future arguments. Small agreements like these often make the difference between a workable arrangement and one that keeps breaking down.
Belongings can be surprisingly emotive. Furniture, a car, photographs and sentimental items all have to go somewhere, and mediation gives you a calm space to divide them without a running argument. The point is not that these things are trivial, but that mediation can handle them alongside the larger issues, so nothing is left hanging.
Your agenda, your pace
You do not have to bring everything to mediation. Some couples resolve only their finances, or only arrangements for the children. You can start with the most pressing issue and add others later if you both want to.
What does it cost to cover these issues?
Because mediation can handle children and finances in the same process, it is usually far cheaper than running separate court cases for each. A MIAM is commonly around £138, and joint sessions vary by provider. Many families in cases involving children can also use the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, worth up to £500. See our cost of family mediation page for the full breakdown.
Step by step: how mediation works through your issues
Whatever you bring to mediation, the process for working through it is much the same. Seeing the stages laid out shows how a long list of worries becomes a clear, written plan.
| Stage | What happens |
|---|---|
| Set the agenda | You and the mediator agree which issues to cover and in what order |
| Gather information | Where money is involved, you both share full financial information, known as disclosure |
| Discuss one at a time | Each issue is taken in turn, with the mediator keeping the conversation balanced |
| Look at options | The mediator helps you weigh different ways of resolving each point |
| Reach agreement | You make your own decisions, which the mediator records as you go |
| Write it up | The outcome is set out in a parenting plan, a memorandum of understanding, or both |
The order is flexible. Some couples start with the children and move on to money, others do the reverse, and many weave the two together. Because one process can hold everything, you are not left running separate negotiations for each part of your separation. Our guide to how family mediation works walks through the flow in more detail.
From agreement to something binding
A common question is whether what you agree in mediation is legally binding. The honest answer is that it depends on the type of agreement and whether you choose to formalise it. Mediation records your decisions clearly, and you can then take steps to make them binding if you want to.
| What you agree | Written up as | How it becomes binding |
|---|---|---|
| Arrangements for children | A parenting plan | Optional; can be turned into a court order if needed |
| A financial settlement | A memorandum of understanding and open financial statement | A solicitor drafts a consent order for the court to approve |
| Interim or practical points | Notes in the summary | Usually kept as a working agreement between you |
For finances, the consent order is what makes a settlement legally binding, and it is based on the open financial statement from your mediation. For children, a parenting plan is not binding by itself but carries real weight, and can be made into an order where that is needed. Our page on whether mediation is legally binding explains the difference in full.
Things people are surprised mediation can cover
Mediation stretches further than many people expect. Beyond the obvious questions of children and the family home, it can help with a range of situations that otherwise drift or turn into disputes.
Couples who were never married can use mediation just as married couples do. The legal position on property and finances is different for unmarried and cohabiting couples, but the process of reaching a fair, workable agreement is the same. Grandparents can also use mediation to agree contact with grandchildren, which is often far kinder than applying to court. And in blended families, mediation can help sort out how arrangements work when new partners and stepchildren are part of the picture.
Everyday practicalities matter too. How you will communicate as co-parents, who keeps which belongings, how a car or a pet is shared, and how you will handle holidays and special days can all be agreed in the same process. None of these is too small to bring, and settling them early often prevents bigger arguments later.
Choosing your agenda: one issue or everything
You are in charge of what mediation covers. Some couples bring their whole separation, children, money, property and the practical details, and work through it over several sessions. Others come with a single sticking point, such as the summer holidays or one financial question, and resolve just that. Both are perfectly normal.
It can also be sensible to sequence things. You might settle the most pressing issue first, then come back for the rest once the dust has settled, or agree the children’s routine now and return to finances when disclosure is ready. Arrangements can be reviewed and updated as circumstances change, so nothing you agree has to be final for all time. The point is that the agenda bends to your needs, not the other way round.
Where mediation ends and other steps begin
Knowing the edges of mediation is as useful as knowing its reach. Mediation cannot grant your divorce or dissolution, which is a separate online application you make regardless of how you sort out children and money. It cannot decide criminal matters or child protection questions, which are for the police and the courts. And it cannot give either of you personal legal advice, which is why many people see a solicitor alongside mediation.
If you cannot agree a particular point, the mediator cannot impose a decision, but they can record what you did settle and give you the MIAM certificate you need to take the remaining issue to court. In practice, mediation resolves most of the list for most families, leaving court as a last resort for the few points that genuinely cannot be agreed. Our guide to what happens if mediation does not resolve everything sets out those next steps.
Nadia and Sam thought mediation was only for arguments about the children. In fact they had a long list: two children, a shared mortgage, a car, some credit card debt and a dog. Over four sessions the mediator worked through each item in turn. They agreed a parenting routine, a plan for the house, how to clear the debt, and even that the dog would follow the children between homes. One process covered everything, and they never set foot in a courtroom.
Frequently asked questions
What can family mediation cover?
Family mediation can cover child arrangements, finances, the family home, savings, debts, pensions, maintenance, pets, belongings and how you communicate. You decide which issues to bring.
Can mediation deal with both children and money?
Yes. Most couples handle both in the same process. The mediator can work through arrangements for the children and the financial settlement together or in whatever order suits you.
What can mediation not do?
Mediation cannot grant your divorce, decide criminal or child protection matters, give you personal legal advice, force the other person to agree, or impose a decision if you cannot reach one.
Can we mediate about pets?
Yes. Pets are a common topic. Mediation can help you agree who a pet lives with and how costs are shared, in the same way as other belongings.
Does what we agree become legally binding?
Not automatically. Agreements are written up, and for finances a solicitor can turn them into a consent order approved by the court, which makes them binding. Parenting plans can be made into an order too.
Can we mediate if we were never married?
Yes. Mediation is open to unmarried and cohabiting couples in the same way as married ones. The law on property and finances differs for cohabitees, but the process of reaching a fair, workable agreement is the same.
Can grandparents use family mediation?
Yes. Grandparents often use mediation to agree contact with grandchildren after a family separation. It is usually calmer and quicker than applying to court, which grandparents can only do in limited circumstances.
Do we have to bring everything to mediation at once?
No. You choose the agenda. You can resolve a single issue, such as holiday arrangements or one financial question, or work through your whole separation over several sessions, and come back later for anything left over.
Sources
- GOV.UK, Family mediation, gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- GOV.UK, Money and property when a relationship ends, gov.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.
- Family Mediation Council, What is family mediation?, familymediationcouncil.org.uk. Accessed 9 July 2026.